Title: Alternative ending to FPS
Feedback: You bet!
Spoilers: FPS, obviously.
Alternative Ending to First Person Shooter
Scully watched helplessly as Mulder continued to fight Matrea, trapped inside the now uncontrollable game.
"She feeds off male aggression. It only makes her stronger," Phoebe had told her And it appeared to be true. The more Mulder tried, the stronger Matrea showed herself to be. "What do we do?" Byers asked leaning in between Scully and the monitor.
"I'm going in," Scully announced. "let's see how she does with a little female aggression."
"No!" Phoebe exclaimed.
"Don't try to stop me, Phoebe. He's my partner."
"I think you should go in, but instead of fighting her, see if you can bond with her," Phoebe yelled out to Scully who was now in the changing room.
"Yes, turn up the estrogen, if you will."
Scully stopped in the midst of stripping down to a T-shirt to raise an eyebrow at Phoebe.
Phoebe continued, "It might weaken her."
Scully looked at her a moment, then continued to suit up. Without a word she headed for the game's entrance, grabbing the automatic weapon issued to players. "Sorry," she said as she turned to face them, "I just don't believe that what this girl needs is a slumber party."
The doors closed. Everyone turned to the monitors. In a glory known only to action heroes and rock stars, Scully emerged from the gate with flames shooting out of her gun and her eyes. She immediately vaporized all of the evil cowgirls, which bought her enough time to pick up an embarrassed Mulder and run for the exit. To their horror, the door was closing. Mulder had only enough time to slide Matrea's sword underneath, giving them a ray of hope. As Mulder continued to pry the door open, Scully turned to face the Matrea clones who, even when they died, only continued return. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result," Scully remembered from somewhere and this was definitely driving her crazy.
As the cowgirl returned as a rambo-type with a tank, Scully made a decision. A split second decision, that took Mulder, but most importantly Matrea, by complete surprise. She threw down her gun, smiled broadly and screamed, "Hey there, girlfriend!"
Matrea didn't fire, but eyed Scully warily. Scully made a time out sign pleadingly, "Just for a second?"
"Scully, what are you doing?!" Mulder whispered hoarsely.
"I have no idea," Scully said through clenched teeth, "but do me a favor. Don't try to take her out. It's a real time out Mulder, no tricks."
"Matrea?" Scully shouted. "I'm sorry, I just need to ask you something. Where did you get your outfit?"
Matrea was rattled for a moment. "Excuse me?"
Scully took a few steps closer and shouted, "Your outfit! I love it."
Matrea half-smiled, looked down at her Porno-Rambo-Girl get-up and smiled back at Scully, "Actually it's a digital creation I did myself."
Mulder stared at Scully as though horns were growing on her head. Horns probably would have been more believable at this point than the oh so girlie Scully standing before him.
Scully continued. "It's so awesome and just perfect with the tank and everything."
"You know, that's what I was really trying for. You wouldn't believe how hard it is not to clash with a tank!" Matrea began to climb down from the huge metal beast. Scully took the cue and started to walk forward. Out of the corner of her eye, Scully saw Mulder stir to follow.
"Uh, stay here," she said testily over her shoulder. The two women met half-way and shook hands.
"Hi, I'm Dana."
"Matrea, good to meet you. You really know how to handle one of those guns."
Scully grinned sheepishly, "Oh thanks. FBI training and all."
Scully shrugged. "Can I ask you something?"
"Do I look stupid in this game gear thing?"
"No!" Matrea enthused. "It's very terminatrix."
"Really? I don't like the glasses, though. They're a little too Buddy Holly for me."
"Guys got all the wrap around shades, huh?"
Scully raised a flat palm to Matrea. "Don't get me started."
In the control booth, the Lone Gunmen and Ivan watched in disbelief. Phoebe grabbed a chair and pulled herself up close to the monitor. From the gate in the game, Mulder stood perplexed. Something inside of him was deeply disappointed. The most interactive war game available, he was in it, literally fighting for his life against the woman of his digital dreams, and Scully had completely morphed into a .......... girl. He rolled his eyes and turned back to work on the door. If possible, the desire to get out was growing.
"I know, I know." Matrea said shaking her head. "Why the hell do you think I'm out here killing the bastards?"
"Well," Scully said, "They aren't all bad. I mean, sure that one's a punk." She jerked her head in Mulder's direction. "And, that Daryl guy --"
"Yeah, he had it comin'."
"Totally!" Matrea chimed in. "You don't know how happy I was when I saw that it was him. You should have seen the look on his face. He wasn't so bad-ass anymore."
Scully and Matrea giggled together.
"Just the way the other guys reacted to him! 'It's Daryl Musashi!'" Scully mocked. "Ugh! You know who else needs to die? That guy Ivan!"
"Oh," Matrea said, "I'm just waiting for the day when he gets in here."
"You're nails are soooo pretty!" Scully said taking Matrea's hand. "Who does them?"
"This sweet little digital Asian lady. She could do yours. They don't look bad."
Scully made a face. "They don't look good either. I swear a week ago, Mulder decides we need to track down a werewolf in one of the worst neighborhoods in LA during a full moon."
"Yeah. Exactly. I don't have time to really get them done, but I'm thinking, with this assignment, besides the Flowbee poster-child over there, who's gonna see?"
"All of the sudden, were surrounded by cops."
"The police? Wouldn't that be a good thing?"
"No, you don't understand," Scully insisted. "The TV show, 'COPS'!"
"Yeah. These cameramen were in my face from the word go. They don't care about you or how you might feel about it, they just stick that huge lens in your face and record every word you say, every face you make. I swear, I spent the whole time with my hands in fists, like this." Scully knotted her hands and folded her arms.
Frustrated, Mulder called out from the gate, "Hey if we're not gonna kill each other, can we go?"
"No!" Matrea and Scully both shouted.
Matrea turned up her nose. "You want me to take him down?"
"Nah. He has his moments, but he's really ok."
"I came within a half inch of killing him with my high heel."
Scully gasped. "I loved those boots! How did you do those back flips in them?"
"Actually, the boots offer allot of ankle support, which is so important."
"I was wondering," Scully dropped to a whisper, "is there a chance I could borrow that leather thong thing? I was thinking it might be fun, y'know, with Mulder later."
"Oh yeah! Sure! Way to go girl; he's buff!"
"He's been working out. Y'know, so he can keep up with me."
"I gotcha girlie. And that outfit will definitely have him bowing at your feet, trust me."
"You don't think it will be too big?"
"No, my legs are longer, but our torsos are about the same size."
"Actually," Scully said. "I was talking about up here." She gestured towards her chest.
Matrea put a hand on her arm. "So much of that is the outfit."
Matrea nodded. "I'll show you." She turned and started walking away. Instantly, the Western frontier town digitized into a lovely spacious apartment decorated in soft neutrals with some dark wood pieces for accent.
"Oh, Matrea! This is lovely!"
"Thanks! Did it myself."
Mulder now found himself slumped against a large metal door. Assessing his surroundings as infinitely more dangerous, he jumped up and tried the handle. It swung open freely.
"Hey," he called. "I'm going!"
"Bye!" Scully and Matrea said simultaneously.
Mulder started to say something, then turned and walked out the door. Instantly, he was in the control booth with Ivan and the Lone Gunmen slumped in chairs. Only Phoebe stayed glued to the screen, rapt with attention.
"See," she said, "Scully's already weakening her! Mulder was able to escape!"
"What do you mean?" Mulder asked.
"She's turning up the estrogen."
"Way up!" Frohicke said in disgust.
"I feel like I'm in Hell and the only thing on is The View!" Langly said.
"Worse!" Ivan said. "It's Martha Stewart."
"Closet's in here." They heard Matrea say. Scully followed her into a very large bedroom with a separate living area with a fireplace, and then into a dressing room. Tearing open a huge closet, Matrea asked, "So what's the story with you and secret agent man?"
"Well," Scully sighed. "It sure as hell ain't 'Love Story'. I mean, I don' t have a ring."
"Here we go," Matrea said pulling out the leather thong and handing it to Scully.
"Thanks, that's so sweet!"
Matrea cocked her head to one side. "What's 'Love Story'?"
Scully's jaw dropped. "You haven't seen that movie?"
The vixen shook her head.
"Ok! Hold the phone!" Scully shouted dropping the fabric pretending to be an outfit over a chair. "We have to remedy this right now. Is there anyway to get that movie and a half gallon of Death by Chocolate Brownie Decadence Ice Cream in here?"
"Oh hell yeah!" Matrea shouted.
In the control booth, Phoebe beat on the counter emphatically. "Way to go girl!" She shouted. The emasculated men looked quizzically at the mousy female. "What Scully is doing is the ultimate in female bonding. That movie will have Matrea in tears and completely rid of her female aggression."
Within seconds, Matrea had materialized two huge bowls of ice cream, sweats for both women and a raging fire in the hearth. They sat on a big fluffy couch watching Ryan O' Neill and Ali McGraw fall in love, get married and face cancer together. As Ali lay dying in the hospital bed, Matrea sobbed quietly. Unbeknownst to her, the background began to loose focus. Scully sat still and pretended to cry.
"This is the best movie," Matrea said through tears.
Scully only nodded. Suddenly, the flat was gone. Matrea was gone. Everything was gone. Except for Scully. She sat cross-legged in her own clothes on the floor of the game space. Immediately, The Lone Gunmen, Phoebe, Ivan and Mulder burst into the room.
"If I had to take one more second of that soft-ass girlie crap, I was gonna start my own game! FPS: Freakin' Pissed Scully!""
Phoebe was gushing. "That was amazing! You knew just what to say, you were playing her the whole time! It was beautiful!"
"It was boring!" Langly shouted.
"I thought just the mention of the movie would do it. I didn't know I'd have to sit and watch the whole damn thing!"
"Does no one care that my game was destroyed?" Ivan whined.
Scully walked over until her nose touched his. "Let me get this straight," she said. "Two people die in your game and you can care less. But you expect me to feel sorry for you because software designed for bloodthirsty Neanderthals that you couldn't control is destroyed?! I should have left Matrea alone! Let you stumble in here and find out which you care more about, your life or your game."
"Well it wasn't the most dramatic finishes in history," Byers offered, "But we did get to see a side of Scully we never saw before."
Frohicke scoffed, "The only side I wish we could have seen was Scully in the leather Porno Girl Thong."
Scully rolled her eyes. "Gimme a break," she mumbled.
Everyone began filing out of the space. Except Mulder. Scully stopped and looked at him. He was staring at Scully in complete disbelief and absolute confusion.
"What?" She asked.
"So that was just an act, right?"
"How did you know how to do that?"
"I am a woman, Mulder." Mulder squinted at her and pursed his lips.
"Charles has a fourteen year-old daughter."
"Oh," Mulder said and began walking. Scully caught his arm and squared her shoulders. Quickly, she lifted her shirt enough for Mulder to catch a flash of black leather and crisscross lacing. With out a word, she dropped the shirt and headed for the door.
Mulder looked after her, frozen in place. "The Goddess," he breathed.